Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
