We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
