Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
