Me. At least after what I've been through.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
