EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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