i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
