Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
