I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
as a side note pls kill me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
