And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This baby is an asshole
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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