Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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