I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
