I hate your face
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
