If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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