my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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