For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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