Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
