we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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