So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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