No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
