I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
