wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
