is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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