Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
