sorry about calling you the devil all night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
