New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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