he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
