I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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