No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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