i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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