dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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