We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
