hotel room ftw
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
