I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
