Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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