he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
