i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
