You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
