To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
