so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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