Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
