dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
