I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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