Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
