nut hugger
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
