Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize