Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Welp...herpes.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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