I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
