he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it's like iHOP with fire
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
