I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
