he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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